For years i never got regonised when i started advocating i got my regonition but i don''t get complements from any guy. I am still lonely and i don''t have or ever flirted with anybody in a long time. I don''t have intermacy with anybody. I still get jeaouls whenever other people gets a guy attention.
I have nobody one person i loved ran away and now is with somebody else. I am alone. I look for short-term relationship and hates goodbye. I don't like getting close with anybody. I am afraid of being a lone. That everybody will leave me and i''ll be left behind. Its happening. I am in deny when i like somebody.
I don't show it. I don''t act like it. I will always run away. I am inseure and i have problems. I spend my days thinking of family and worrying about them. I don't care about anything else. when somebody likes them and comes in-between i will get jeaouls. I am in need for some fun and love.
That is the reason why i don't have friends or a boyfriend. Nobody fault for me or even came closer to try win my heart, they wanted short-term relationships too. So i don''t have love. I don''t have a social life. I spend days watching movies and listening to music. I spend days writing and visiting relatives and their friends. I spend days daydreaming. Now that i am ready for love, i find it hard to make an impression. I am not gonna run away.
It may have to start slow, because i don't like being touch and i can be very cold. I am a psycho. I am werid. I maybe have a strange look. I try to dress up wearing designer and doing my face and hair as well as my hair. Yet people get jeaouls. I want to get attention. I want to be somebody number one.
I want to experience everything that i have missed out in years. I want to hold somebody and love somebody. There was two people in the present who i was crushing one one i was madly in love the other was just puppy love. both didn't show me interest in that way. So single again.
Now i have abosutely no feelings for anybody but hatred. I am just looking for a cutie pie. Somebody who will make the first move. Some people did but i did not regonise them or wasn''t interested. I spend days worring will i ever get married? I don't have to listen to anybody i am 24 years old i know what my goal is and that is to find a husband.
I live and fight to live for this, that is why for 3 days i have been looking good. looking amazing. I am trying to see could it be him or him. I am trying to find a way to get somebody. I just want to live happily ever after with a good man and good looking guy beside me. I don't care about anything else.
Yes, i may want to have childern. maybe being successful and getting a job somebody will regonise.For me marriage is happiness and success. I am going to take my time and find the right person. first by loosing weight. I am also trying to be clean. High time i become independent and try my own thing. I am trying very hard. My dream will come through, i am gonna keep trying and then spend the other days having fun.
Joing work force will force me to get out of my comfort zone and also trying to do something for myself. I am also trying to socialize. I cannot wait to see my sister. I am happy to have a brother too. I am waiting for a family trip. :).