'SISTERS' BOOT LACES'

Yes, it happened just as I expected! Whenever our group gathered the discussion would eventually turn to the craziness of the world around us, some story of a happening in our lives, and finally some quote that one of the group was famous for saying over and over. The laughter spreads like wildfire and it truly is a 'good for the soul' experience.

These quotes are best left within the group, except for the famous quotes of the 'guru' of the day, Dr. Phil, known to me as 'Dr. Phail'. I cannot resist doing a Dr. Phail routine during these gatherings. Not too many people have missed hearing Dr. Phail expound on 'Life Strategies', weight loss, family issues, and a myriad of other subjects. His popular television show comes to us at the very time we are preparing the evening meal and is entertaining to say the least. If you have never seen or heard dysfunctional people at their maladjustive best, tune in-they will be with Dr. Phail hammering out some life problem that is better left in the confines of ones' home or doctors' office. But oh, no, there are those who like to be on stage to elaborate on their dilemmas and have the 'guru' stare them down. It is baffling that some adults are so masochistic!

The latest from this program that I have learned is that in life we have quote "Ten defining moments, (also known as threshold moments) seven critical choices, and five pivotal people". That's fine, in all likelihood it is true, but my life has been too busy for me to think about it.

But Dr. Phail caused me to have an amusing flashback a few days ago. Sitting across from a very distressed father, he was telling him that we all have 'threshold moments' and this gentleman was having one of them right then. It made me remember the many 'threshold moments' I had during the school year of 1964-1965.

I had graduated from highschool at the age of fifteen. Now what? I could not go to the Grace Hospital School of Nursing, although accepted, until I was seventeen and seven month's old. That was a 'defining moment' when I found that out. I spent most of the summer babysitting, playing pool, bicycling, going to parties, and just plain annoying anyone I could. So in stepped one of the 'pivotal people' in my life, MY MOTHER! My parents were not going to tolerate this lack of work ethic any longer.

Arriving home sunburned and tired after a day of goofing off, Mother made the firm pronouncement. It went something like this:

"YOU, MISS, ARE NOT SPENDING THE NEXT TWO YEARS BEING A SLOTH. YOU ARE GOING TO DO THE BUSINESS COURSE THE NUNS TEACH AT ST. CATHERINES!" End of discussion.

So that was that! No decision to make, just appear at the school in September, behave myself, and learn. The course was taught in a Roman Catholic School and all of the teachers were Sisters. They were all so lovely with their black habits and white head pieces. I wasn't too enthusiastic about the typewriters that had no letters on the keys, but I learned to type and type well. I can still quote the keyboard from memory. Learning the way we did, it was certain we would never forget it. The young people who hear me tell the story of the typewriters cannot believe it, but it is so.

But what the 'pivotal person' did not think about was that I would be one of three Protestant students in the class, and Friday afternoons us Protestants had 'defining hours', because we were set free of the bonds of the classroom while the Roman Catholic students had a Religion class and the Rosary. I went through the whole school year without anyone finding that one out. 'THE NUNS' who were going to 'straighten me out' were falling short of their goal I'm afraid. Our instructor was a beautiful woman, she had the brightest smile and just glided as if she was swept along on a carpet of air. Everyone in the class adored her. We would do anything for Sister Maris Stella. She was admired by all of us.

But MY 'threshold moments' happened quite frequently. Dr. Phail says we are supposed to have ten, but I had a good hundred or more that year. The principal of the school was an older Sister who wore laced up leather boots. Sure as shootin' when I entered the school I would hear her coming down the hall. It never failed. I am sure she watched for me and was ready to confront me every single day.

"Oh, Jarvis, there you are! Trouble with the laces again. A little help please!" she would bellow in her deep voice.

So she would sit on the top step, pull her habit up to the top of her mid-calf length boots and I would proceed to lace them up for her. Over and over I would do that until they felt right. She would stand up, test them, then turn to me and, when the boots felt right, send me off to class. It happened far too often to be just a coincidence. Those boots waited for me and caused me the 'threshold moments'.Every time I did those laces I would consider tying them together, but I was afraid she would fall. Putting knots in the laces was a possibility but I figured it would be me who would be summoned to untie them. At one point I even considered replacing the black laces with white ones but it was a given that I would be found guilty of that offense. Day after day I had those moments, those sneaky ideas of how to get Sister to stop asking me to do her boots because I did not like it one bit. They were indeed 'threshold moments', and they took place on the 'threshold' of the school. Sister Regis would talk to me throughout the whole process.

The school year ended, and I found a job as a stenographer with a local company and worked there, just sixteen years old, waiting for the day when I could start on the road to becoming a nurse. I learned a lot, and I am not sorry that I did that course, because throughout my life it has been as asset to know how to type, to keep records, and to do a job well the first time because, if not, you're going to be doing it again!

But after all the angst of Sisters boots, I missed her after that school year. I wondered if she was OK, and if she had someone to do her boots for her. Would they do it right? Would they know to leave the top two holes open? I'm sure Sister would coach someone along. Then in 1966 I was off to the Grace School of Nursing.

During the first six months of Nurses' Training we wore black shoes and stockings. Every time I laced those shoes I would think of Sister Regis, who had become one of the 'pivotal people' that caused me to have 'threshold moments', make 'critical choices' and experience 'defining moments'.

I believe that Sister Regis had all that figured out long before Dr. Phil. She taught me patience, showed me that even things like boot laces are important, and lovely conversations can happen when a pair of boots are being laced up. She was, I am sure, checking me out because of my young age, making sure I was doing well, and felt she was making me feel important by allowing me to enter her 'comfort zone'.

In retrospect Sister and her boot laces taught me so much, and it only occurred to me years later that she had good ulterior motives.

I wonder who ties 'Dr. Phails' shoes? It doesn't matter. He could never fill Sister Regis' boots. She was a strategist, doing it her way. I owe her so much, especially since she never ever told the 'pivotal people' in my life that I was free as an eagle on Friday afternoons! Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe

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