This is a work of fiction. All characters and places are not based on anyone, living or dead. Also: this book deals with a lot of heavy stuff, including implied suicide and depression, as well as death. Please read at your own risk.

Dear No One,

This is my reality. Where nothing is as it seems. I like that sometimes. Sometimes a misunderstood, crazy reality is a bitch though. Just ask Steven. He knows.

Knew. He knew, you dumbass

.

Dear No One,

I remember when I met Steven. It was a cool day, a day in which the sky was grey, but the weather had a sort of nice, calm air to it. It was a day I cherish to this day, even if I don't remember all the details.

Although I kinda wish I would've noticed more.

Dear No One,

My mom says that I needed to get out a little more. "It's not healthy to always be locked in your room," she had said.

I really don't get it though. Steven is gone, my homework is done, I'm not hungry...why do I need to come out? I don't want to come out. I want to join Steven...wherever he is.

Dear No One,

I can't believe he's really gone. Truly, I can't. I can write about Steven, I can try to think about him being gone, but I can't really convince myself.

It's sort of like a faint little itch in the back of my brain. Constant. Annoying. But not harmful. At least...not yet. It's weird, and even weirder I had hardly even noticed.

It's like an instinct. People are good at hiding what they truly feel, I suppose.

Gulp.

Slit.

Hate.

Cry.

"I'm fine."

Dear No One,

I woke up crying today. I had the worst dream. It started innocently but soon grew dark. Then got darker. Darker. Darker still. And it ended with me screaming Steven's name. People often say that the world doesn't revolve around one person, but when you lose someone, it sure does feel that way.

Dear No One,

I saw something on Instagram today. A sad quote. It read: Tinkerbell was always there for Peter. And Peter? He chose Wendy. I actually felt a chill run down my spine as the words clicked in my head. I had never thought of it that way, and now I can't really stop.

Dear No One,

I slipped my headphones on for the first time in years, and I remembered why I used to be so addicted to them. Headphones come on, world fizzles away.

Dear No One,

I woke up longing for Steven once again. I just want us to trade places. No one deserves what he did to himself. No one deserves dying so young. Or perhaps, none of us good people deserves death. The question is then, however...am I a good person?

Dear No One,

I feel alone. No one is home. Steven is dead. I cannot do anything to be happy. I cannot be happy anymore. I just wish we could trade places. That is all I have grown to want. It seems that one day, the feeling was planting, and since then, in the following days, it only started to grow faster.

I just can't feel happy here, on this planet. It's so terrible. I have tried drowning out my feelings with music. It doesn't work anymore. I've created a monster. Or perhaps...I am the monster.

Dear No One,

I am truly alone. I just want Steven back. I want him back. He did not deserve to die so soon. I have come to my decision...that I want to die. Because I have a feeling, this tiny, little, ever so hopeful feeling that some higher power, some out of this world magician will see my sacrifice and bring Steven back. That is all that matters now. That is all that matters wherever and whenever you are. I will probably do it tonight. I think it really is a good idea. What is the worst that could happen?

End