I'm walking the same grassy field again, watching the same grey sky above. I wonder, like every other time. How it would feel to float up in the sky - like a smoky cloud or an elegant swan. I wonder and I wonder, and my wondering

becomes a vivid dream. Someday, someday, I will be too - flying into sky.

I walk past the old willow, covered in moss. It has died ages ago. I see a squirrels playing around it. I smile, even though I know my heart is in despair.

Why did the willow die, what kind it was when it was alive?

I keep wondering that everytime, and push it out from my mind. How silly of me, to be sad of a dead tree.

I'm on my home yard now, staring the withering white house. Long time ago, it looked like a castle in my eyes.

I was young, and my loved ones were alive. I grin, and swallow my grief.

How I miss them close to me. I was only 19, when I married him. Lord Racuell, Edward Racuell. My eyes gets always filled by tears when I remember him. Oh how I miss his face. Those deep green eyes and greyish brown hair.

He meant the whole world to me. He bought us this house,

to settle down and start a family. Like we did.

I was 20, when I gave birth to a daughter. Alice. She died.

I had another daughter at age of 21. Meredith. She died too.

I got again pregnant at age of 22, gave birth to another

girl. Isabelle.

I open the door. It creaks loudly, like when the wind blows

against it. I stand now in dusty and dark hallway. I see

the old portaits hanging on walls. There is him. Edward,

my loved husband. And there - there is me. Penelope Tiffany

Racuell, with my brown eyes and long black hair, standing next to him and smiling. It's our wedding portrait. And there - next to that one is the portraits of

our small daughters. Oh how delicate they look. I smile

when seeing them, even though the images has been faded badly during the years.

I turn around - and see the old counter desk. And the vase.

Edward bought it to me. White vase, with red flowers painted

to it. It has turned out almost black, caused by the weather and mould. I see the year ago withered flowers in it. Lilies and roses. My favourites. Edwards used to buy them for me.

I walk upstairs, the stairs are soundless. I wonder why.I am now standing in hallway, there is four doors there. One to bathroom, one to edward's room, one to our daughters room and one to our bedroom. I haven't visited the other rooms in years. But today, today I decided to encourage myself.

I walk behind Edward's room and knock the door. Why did I knock the door? waiting for an answer?. I sigh deeply and open the door. The room is full of dust and mould. It stinks rotten. The glass windows has shattered. The velvet

curtains lost their colour and shape. Looks like someone had been chewing on them. Everywhere around me is books. Edward loved books. He was always reading them. I enter the room, and touch gently the nearest armchair. I can't feel a thing.

I see books there and there. some open - some torned apart. I see the candelier - and a candle in it. Almost burned to end. And books - huge book piles near it. And a Raven. Staring to my direction. I watch the room for a while, like hoping I would see Edward again. But of course he was not there. I leave the room and shut the door behind

me.

I'm standing now in front of the room of our daughters, feeling my heart throbbing. My hand shakes while I put my hand on the doorknob. The door opens, bit too easily. Like

it would had been open all this time.

This room is dusty too - and has spider webs all over it. Bit of mould on the walls, but that's all. The windows are

still shut tight. Anything haven't really changed there.

Only the colours had been faded during the years.

Near me is a music box, which my mother gave it to me before she passed away. I open it. It's still working!

The tune it plays, brings back memories from my past. Sweet

ones. Oh how I miss the days I were a child. I left it open,

perhaps because it englightened my dark soul. I leave the room again. I don't feel tired enough to sleep. Actually,

I don't remember when I felt tired for the last time.

I open my bedroom door, and watch the room with gloomy eyes.

Dusty... full of mould and spiderwebs... shattered windows. It's all the same. branches growing in to the room. I wonder

how long it really has been, since I slept last time. It must have been really long time ago. I remember Edward sleeping next to me. I walk to my closet, and open it. I see my clothes hanging there, some of them looking eaten.I wonder when was the last time I changed my clothes. I turn around and walk to my make-up table. The mirror has been shattered, and glass were all around the floor. My hairbrush, completely unusable. I wonder when wasthe last time I even needed that one. I used to be very concious about my hair. I would had been brushed it whole day if I would had to.

Now I decide to leave the room, and go to bathroom. but why? I didn't feel like using it. I take hold of the door knob - but it won't open. I get frustrated and hit the door loudly. It won't open. I decide to go back downstair. Sit on the couch and enjoy a cup of tea.

when I finally reach the livingroom - and even it looks so dusty. I start to wonder why. And now, when I really think of it. I don't even want a tea, actually - I'm not even hungry. I turn around to watch the clock. 4.30. The clock panel has been broken. There is glass everywhere. What is going on? How come my home had turned like this? I walk to diningroom. The table is fully served, but everything is untouched. It's served for two. Wait, we had one daughter alive. Why was the table served only for two? I walk now to kitchen. Everything seems so out of place there. I see the water kettle in the corner. I stare it for a while. why is the water kettle in the corner, why the kitchen is messed up? I walk back to dining room, confused and turn to look myself in the mirror. I can't see myself. I watch again, but still I can't see myself.

Then I remember. It was dark and stormy evening, years ago,I had had an horrible headache and fallen asleep. But when I woke up in his room. Edward was gone. I went to see how Isabelle was doing. She wasn't in her bed! I ran downstairs - to find Edward and tell someone had took our daughter! I hear voices from kitchen and run there.

"Edward - Isabelle is..." I managed to say before I screamed. I saw Edward there. Our daughter on his hands, keeping her head in water kettle. I scream, but he only grins at me. Isabelle had turned blue. I felt tears falling down from my eyes. My daughter had died, killed by his own father! then I figured it out. Edward must had been drowned all our daughters before.

"I'm sorry Peeny..." he said. Edward had always such a smooth and velvet like voice. This time, it felt poisonous.

"but even you must die." I remember I started running and he was chasing me. He pushed me against the clock, yet I managed to escape. I runned back to kitchen, where he cornered me.

"Peeny - peeny, why you run? You can't escape now." he kept saying and took isabelle to his hands."you see your daughter here - don't you?" he grinned - took a knife to his another hand and slashed her torso open. She kept bleeding. I remember that I screamed, and then passed out. I woke up miles away from my home. I must had been killed that day.

For some reason I decide to walk back to edward's room for a once. This time, I walked behind his desk, and turned his chair around.

I expected it to be empty, like it was - but there was a note. Written in blood.

I killed my daughters, I killed my wife. I took out the pendant from her, like I promised. I will now hide it, so you never can have it.

I watched the note and put my hand to my neck. It was true. My pendant was gone. But where is it now? And that I wondered and wondered, until I fell asleep.

But for how long who knows? Will someone find my pendant?

Will someone wake me up?

All I know is that I am Penelope Tiffany Racuell, also better known as Peeny. Age 22. And I must revenge the death of my children.