I walked across the street to get a can of coke. There was 3 young guys playing with a ball in the alley. All of a sudden the ball darted at me from the peripheral. I feel targeted in retrospect. That's the second time a ball "happens" my way recently? They know if you do that enough the old man will hurt himself and they'll all get a laugh. Next time I'm kicking it over the house...So the ball was passing me and I impulsively batted at it with my feet. My heart was not in it. I'd given up before i even tried because it was passing me at a good speed...A dangerous speed for someone whose heart wasn't in it.

As I lurched at it, inexplicably I overtook the ball so fast I saw the ball go under me. I ran past it! My inner voice was shouting! WHO do you think you are!! I had lost site of the ball a few whole seconds before this idea. I was sure I was going to step on it and go down. Cause I don't know anything about soccer. Somehow the ball went through my legs and batted around and I passed the ball back to the kid with my right leg behind my left leg like I meant to and they all cheered me with cries of "Caballero!" Turns out soccer is not that hard. I was just trying to not fall down. I was scared a little. I just wanted a coke.