DILWORTH PIXIES
Created By Cameron Humphries
This is what I am presuming you are going to declare. You are going to declare you know what a pixie is, a small winged creature a couple of inches long that has a magic dust that could help make you fly. Sorry, but you have been watching too many night movies, what you are describing are fairies a very different creature and one I will not discuss here.
Therefore, what are pixies? Pixies are about the size of a young human child about the age of six through ten and twice as wild. Many older cultures in all parts of the World have described pixies in their myths and writings. They live among us all although most humans never take notice and when noticed what most see is a child at play. Myths say that pixie sometimes will with human children to confuse adult humans. The human children usually do not care if their playmates are common human children or pixies since they have someone to play with. As such, many pixies indeed seem happiest among children at play and go unnoticed by everyone. Most humans do not believe in pixies and laugh when you tell them different. I know because I have tried for years to prove that they do live with us. One day I will.
It just happens there is a group of pixies in Dilworth a community that lies inside the limits of a city called Charlotte. I call this group the Dilworth Pixies because of where they make their base of operations. These pixies live inside an old building not far from the corner of West Summit and Kee Street. This ancient building, built in the earlier half of the 20th century, stands four floors high and has at least three basement levels. The City of Charlotte and Dilworth has never determine what a retired banker wants with this building nor do they ever wonder near this building to see what is inside. The retired banker claims he is preserving the building for historic reasons and as a living resident for himself, but I know the truth, pixies he is saving it for the pixies. Call me mad if you will, everyone else does, but soon very soon, you will see that I am not mad.
No one has ever seen the "children" that come and go from this ancient building, but there are rumors about the house and the retired banker. One famous or infamous rumor, if you like, is the Banker has experiments going on inside the many basement levels and if you go inside he changes you into a goblin or worst. Many people claim if you stand outside and wait until early morning you will hear singing coming from the building. Because most people rarely see the Banker, and the building has the appearance of a hunted house, there are those who believe such silly rumors. The singing rings with the truth though the goblin rumor is pure fantasy. I have no doubt the goblins are pixies having fun.
For the record, I have found their really are experiments going on inside not one but all four levels of the basement. Perhaps you have heard of the small rocket launched in Settler's Park or how about the Crazy Gang that robs groceries of nothing more than strawberries. These I assure you are the pixies at work. The incident in Settler's Park was some of the pixies trying to get to the moon. I know what you are going to say, "It could never happen" or "The local newspaper said it was a rocket firecracker," but that night they in fact did it. They went to the moon; seems that the pixies believed there was truly cheese thither. Of course, those high people at NASA and some of the Major World Governments know of this. Someone, covered it up, three guess on whom that might had been? It is a long story that I have uncovered and subsequently that tell is extensive and we will speak of it again someday.
Nevertheless, speaking of strawberries, it so happens pixies love them with rapture and will eat any encountered, so much, so that groups of them have formed a group called the Crazy Gang. This gang started borrowing the red wonders from the gardens of local neighbors. When that became impossible it was onward to the smaller farmer markets, then the smaller groceries, then to the up-town pushcarts and finally the Crazies started plundering the major groceries and even the delivery trucks. I am happy to say these robbers neither injured nor killed anyone. In fact, because of the popularity, some grocers stopped trying to catch the Crazy Gang. Surely, you have heard of the unique gang of children that plaque this area; it appears on local and national news from time to time. The robberies have gotten so popular people come here from other parts looking forward to being in a grocery when the little bandits strike and there are even fan clubs for them. Besides, the fact that it makes the citizens sick by laughter and with only cases of strawberries taken, most police and grocers let the gang takes what they want. I know the truth though, the banker and the local grocers have an agreement and so no true value is lost and the popularity is making the groceries and business in Charlotte rich. Did you think a man worth billions would worry about paying for strawberry shipments? He probably even owns the farms that supply said red wonders in the first place. The fans have to eat somewhere during this period among robberies. Did I also mention clothing, hotels, and gas for car trips? In a crazy way this group of pixies is helping with tourism and making people believe they are normal human children who love strawberries. Myself, I have been unlucky in catching them borrowing strawberries, but one day I will catch they. When I do, you people will no longer be laughing at me. I see you there in the corner with that giggling look. See if I care, you will see.
Like I have said earlier, experiments are on going in the basements of the old building, but types and name are unknown by me. Nevertheless, I assure you they are going on as we speak. I did discover a rumor of an experiment where pixies tried to make 200 lb strawberries and instead made the infamous 200 lb prune. It may be of note pixies despise prunes and will run from any at all velocity. Smart pixies, I say. The crazies are still borrowing strawberries; it is my guess the experiments never succeed. I still see you in the corner, laugh it up fly-boy, my time will come. No, I do not need help and I will not get a life. You are a fool to laugh at me. You wait; when I am famous, you will say that I talked to you.
You can laugh and call me crazy if you like, but my time will come. The pixies are not urban legends and soon I will prove to you and everyone that they are real. Go ahead laugh it up all your hearts desire, soon I will prove it and will be the most famous person on this planet. All I need is proof, proof I say. One day, those pixies and the banker will make a mistake and I will have my proof. Until then I will leave you children with this thought, beware of the Dilworth Pixies. The strawberries you save might be your own. I still see you in the corner just keep laughing fly-boy. Very funny!