I've been working on this series of poems for a good while now. I have many ideas for it and many chapters still to come. I'm really just wanting some feedback to see what to do with it. Should I let it be or should I keep going? I've included what is completed, Chapters 1-6, which I know doesn't really explain much or tie anything together, but eventually will. I've also included the begining of chapter 20 which is going to be the end. I hope for it to turn into a novel. So somebody please just let me know how it is and what I should do with it. Thank you very much and enjoy. Oh yeah, bear with me on the first two chapters, they do get better I promise.
Chapter I:
Phantom of the Dream
Lilies fluttering in the wind
Giants of the wood vivid in trend
The sun shinning brightly throughout midday
A masterpiece the sky is in its colorful array
Loved ones laughing here and there
With a majestic look of fair
Humility and pride they do show
And never entice a single foe
Singing softly they slowly resound
Higher and higher, heir heart doth pound
Beating frantically beneath the chest
The love and cherish as a bird doth his nest
A crisp harmony blows within the breeze
While the kings of the waves dance in the seas
Birds fly and drift all about
As the horned prince portrays a fearsome scout
The hart's fiery eyes dart back and forth
For he doth spot a fury from the north
Darkness begins to form all around
And treacherous noises split the ground
The once beautiful seas transform to thick ice
Still the people think its safe as they frantically slice
But the ice will not break nor even crack
While in their madness they continue to hack
The ones remaining to the forest do scatter
The sound of a gallop causes the sea to shatter
Jagged ice chips fly through the air
Cutting their flesh and bringing despair
They splash and scream insanely around
But the crashing of waves drowns their sound
The sound of the gallop drawing ever near
Fills their hearts with painful fear
Those who ran to the forest do find
That the trees are dead and the bird's blind
The gallop then causes the trees to crumble
As the clouds overhead roar and rumble
The horned prince finds himself trapped
For his horns in a thicket are intricate, wrapped
A hellish shrill rings throughout the sky
And a voice says sobbing, "You're all going to die"
The black horse and cloaked rider stand atop a hill
With face as pure white, showing sorrow he feels
He clutches the reins of his black-as-night steed
As he weeps and grieves over his master's deed
He quotes from a book entitled "Of the Night"
And fill the people with a paralyzing fright
"My master sends word that I must bring
No matter how tragic or horrible the thing
There'll be no mercy for the perishing here
Nor will there be hope to ease your fear
Harmony and love will no longer reign
To replace it is fear, anguish, and pain
Today, tomorrow, you all will die
No matter the time, as bones you will lie
This message is sent to vanquish love's scheme
Sent by the phantom, the Phantom of the Dream!"
Awakened by thyself screaming aloud
No longer to see the death-dealing cloud
Then to realize it was the theme
The theme of the vile Phantom of the Dream
Chapter II:
No Escape
Part I:
Fade to Where?
Oh to vanish from all sight
Would be a comfort to dim the pain
To lose one's mind throughout the night
As crimson manifests it begins to drain
The helm of lunacy is thus broken
As his laugh sends a chill up the spine
By an evil master's token
The blood doth pour rich and fine
His wanting of your pleasant dream
And mournful song he loves to sing
Is of his menacing, haunting scheme
To entangle you within death's ring
Sanity is rare in his place
As deceit and lavish roar up high
To show no love, mercy, or grace
Causes the blood of the heart to dry
How to fight him is not known
Only to awaken would ease the mind
For deliverance is not shown
An exit is for thee to find
Part II:
Forest of Dissolution
Running frantically through a forest
With the sound of a gallop behind
As the tears of fear poureth
While things once beautiful shackles bind
Faster and faster the gallop gains
Immense walls and open gates appear
An image of help the phantom feigns
The gates then transform to a wall of drear
Continuing to run without a thought
Of the open gates turning to stone
Someone cries out "the gate is wrought!"
Your bare feet begin to trample on bone
By the time you've heard that "someone's" cry
The black horse and cloaked rider jolt ahead
He then shrills out "you're going to die!"
Then as you hit the wall you find yourself dead
Chapter III:
The Bride
With gown of Red
And soot to cover
His bride to be
His Bridging lover
Connecting two worlds
Forging an alliance
Unknowingly adding
To his defiance
With this ceremony
He harshly proclaimed
Deceitfully scheming
With this act of disdain
With the shield of love
Clinched in his fist
Holding ever gently
Her petite wrist
In her eyes
She saw not red
But a gown of white
Feigned instead
As a masquerade
Her truth was not
But she knew nothing
Of his conniving plot
Where she saw roses
Of blue and yellow
And heard melodious
Tunes from the cello
Were not but thorns
To prick the fingers
And his choir
Of Demonic Singers
The words "I do"
Was the toll she'd pay
The wine she drank
Was the blood of his prey
Their feast for legions
Of fruit and pork
Was pith and flesh
With bone as fork
At ceremonies end
All was revealed
His master plan
No longer concealed
She abruptly awoke
Not in her bed
But in the valley
The lair of the dead
Chained to stone
On brimstone pillars
With flame and shadow
As crevice fillers
Watching others
Within his nightmare
On separate pillars
Their life not spared
Compelled to view
The Bridegroom cross
The bridge she carved
Now dreamer's loss
Now every mind
Is free to him
Harmless before
No longer mere whim
Chapter IV:
One O'clock
It was midnight when I battled his demons
Not knowing what could be their reasons
As I tossed and turned I saw the cloak
"You will die!" were the words he spoke
Hooves clamped down on me with deadly force
The road of brimstone seemed my course
The tears of the messenger dripped upon me
As black for miles was all I could see
Then slowly crimson filled my eyes
While my body was bitten by the stallion's flies
They nibbled on my face and tore the flesh
And seized me within their bloody mesh
Now one o'clock and all was hell
And cursed be the fools who say all is well
For his messenger continued for hours on end
To ensure his petition he would properly send
Yet again no sight of an escape was near
And nothing even pretended to reduce my fear
Time marched on as the nightmare persisted
And the harshness grew the more I resisted
But I couldn't give in, my time was not up
On my flesh his demons could no longer sup
So with little power remaining I reached for the reins
And with a speedy whip of might added to the stains
With a splatter his head fell to the ground
As the cloaked rider cried out with an ear-piercing sound
Though headless the horse galloped off
And he and his rider in the distance flew aloft
"You failed me!" echoed as lightening flashed
Then the messenger and horse with flames clashed
The ground began to split while fire seeped through
And this nightmare was proving all too true
But with a flash I awoke to find my bed torn apart
And a sudden, piercing pain clinching my heart
I looked down only to find that the phantom still won
For a bedpost through my chest that demon had run
Chapter V:
Teardrop of the Masterpiece
A white Steed
A Valiant Warrior
On this canvas
Stained with horror
Raring backwards
Sword in hand
Ready to charge
For battle's land
Blue eyes
Showing bravery
Wind-blown mane
Unbinding slavery
A beautiful scene
With skies of blue
The sun beams down
Upon the two
Masterpiece painting
Placed in halls
Of cathedrals
And museum walls
Hanging with glory
And honor alike
A harmonious pose
It doth strike
A sudden swipe
Brings forth dark
Clouds of thunder
And lightening spark
A tiny brush
In air afloat
No hand to guide
But a ghostly note
Swiping swiftly
Painting the horse
An evil black
And a sinful course
The ground beneath
Once was field
Now brimstone cover
The grass be killed
The warrior's armor
Changed to cloak
A slaving saddle
With another stroke
Reins to break
The wild and free
Shackles to bind
Clamped to knee
Red to drip
From battle scars
A haunting scene
Beneath the stars
The warrior's face
Turned to pale
With hate to cover
Cast by spell
Directed by a specter
Phantom of the Dream
Master of puppets
Manipulator extreme
Beautiful masterpiece
Wrought to tragic
Scene of pain
By dark magic
No longer hanging
In the halls
Of cathedrals
And museum walls
But taken down
And tucked away
Only to rot
With every day
Now the warrior
Sheds a tear
And forever will
Dream in fear
And as the painting
Sits in a corner
Nothing will ever
Soothe the mourner
The blue paint runs
From his eyes
Staining the ground
As he cries
Doing the work
Of his master
Loving it more
And falling faster
Chapter VI:
Taken Over
Slow eyes blanketed
The images of batter and bone,
Thinking absurd love
Toward sad bedroom footprints
Tracing the deep
And loneliness of the dark,
All the While Stepping
Ever closer to the final descent
This mystical puppeteer
Of terribly enjoyable madness
Tightening more so
With every image of false luster
And finally taking
The blank stairway to all's end,
Fallen has another
For his soldiery to muster
Chapter XX:
Lady in Red
Part I:
The Fallen Warrior
Steam lifted from the smoldering blood. The footprints were fresh. His searing tin had left its impression upon the grit. The remaining horse whinnied from fear and ran for the opposite of my presence. The other still whimpered and moaned from the incision across his spleen, holding on for many moments before he would accept his finality. And there the saint laid, dismembered, death written upon his armor. His blood stained the bone beneath him, to last for many years after that eve. The hero had fallen. Been slain by the sword of a weakling. He had suffered a blow to the back. The Back! Such a Coward! His sword was even found still sheathed. Beside him was a puddle of vomit, still steaming also, and beginning to reek. It was a stomach wrenching vision. One that I would much rather forget, though I will never be able to.
A sad moment, this proved. For that warrior had saved my life on more than one occasion. Failure is all that raced the channels of my mind. He saved me, but I was too late to save him. Such a failure! Not worthy of life or happiness, nor even a chance of redemption. If there had been a sword there that moment I would have taken my own life. Gleefully!