Middling

by Alexander O'Dell

Victoria Nike steps down from the platform. The crowd cheers as she has concluded her school-required candidate speech. It was superb. Showoff. She gave promises for the future. How mundane. Quasi-truths here and a promise of somethingmore. I could gag. She walks by the rest of us and smiles. Is she expecting something back? A grin, probably. Our approval? Definitely.

President, too much workVice, ehh, no thanks. Victoria can have it. Secretary, thoughtheres a job worth having. Being in the center of the ladder? Most structurally sound job right? Sounds good to me. Enough pull to get things done but not too much to keep me back.

Magnus Opera is next. He steps up on the platform. I know whats coming. Hes always been a witty guy. Everybody loves him. Meh.

They cheer as he begins. Whats up everybody! Let me get this thing started. So we all know this year is our sophomore year. Were still learning the ranks, am I right? But its also the year we buckle down and stake our claim. This is the year we win! And with me as your secretary, I will do everything in my power to make your voices heard! Vote for me and make make all your dreams come true~. Thanks everybody! Vote Magnus for your secretary!

My turn now. I walk up to the mic and they watch. I begin my speech.

My fellow students of Riverbank High. My name is Robert Smith and Im running for the position of secretary. What I can promise you are not promises at all. They are in fact future realities. That is all I can give. I will continue to enforce the schools dress requirements and keep minutes for the class representatives meetings as per the jobs most basic prerequisites. Vote for what is real. Vote for me.

That went well. Better than Magnus and his pandering at least. This school will soon understand the meaning of real. Me. Secretary. We are all handed a tablet. I dont know how to work this. But I must to secure my vote. But what is my vote to theirs. I am only but one of them. I press my name. Nothing happens, ugh. I press it harder. Finally geez. My vote is in.

This tablet thing is quick. Changing times they say. Lame. Olimpia Vita and Victoria Nike won president and vice president. Easy to win when youre unopposed.

Next is your only competition for student government this year. Lets hear another round of applause for Magnus Opera and Robert Smith! The clapping is hurting my head. I hate when people make me wait. That dumb pause to build excitement. Ridiculous. Im about to throw up.

Now, here is what you and your competing classmates want to hear. The winner of the secretary position of your Sophomore class is.

I yank the damn thing off my head. Pulled a few hairs out. So what. This, this memory machine, no better than those damn tablets we voted with back then. The reading from the top of the helmet is barely legible. Screen cracked from when it slammed the floor. I can barely make out October 15th, 2015. That was the day. That was the day it all began. Whats it been now27 years? Seems like a hell of a lot longer.

You know, working with monkeys all the time can be discouraging. They dance for the crowds but never get anything done. New things amuse them and they throw away the old as soon as possible. Those are societys champions, though. Its what they want. Maybe Im just crazy, but if thats the case then societys full of idiots.

Right then. Back to the cage. More poop to throw and peels to slip on. Perhaps well be able to focus today? No distractions, no flashing diversions. Just good ol fashion getting stuff done.

Got my penmy notebookmy sanity. Alright, lets get this over with. I open the doors and step into the semi-circular room.

The 21st meeting of the 129th Senate will begin. Secretary Robert Smith presiding.


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