I was sitting at the edge of my bed, peering out the water-stained window that had accumulated three years worth of bird droppings. Although the window had experienced rough times, it still did its job. My window was the best, even though paradise contained more than three-hundred of the same styled windows. I was able to see outside, unlike all the others. I could see the light.

I watched kids board what looked like a bruised banana in the morning and exit it several hours later, five days a week. I saw similar carriages that were smaller, but the yellow one interested me most because it seemed divine. Something told me these children were going to see God. Id been told when your soul was considered absolutely pure, you would be taken away to heaven; however, what I was taught did not comply with the childrens homecoming. I was assured you could not return as a mortal being once you ascended, yet these peculiar children went there and came back every time without problem. These children were special, I concluded.

One day, during my second of seven prayers, I asked God why those kids were allowed to see his greatness and I wasnt. I requested that I be allowed to join them on their adventure, at least once. I begged God to let me go. I extended my bible studies from six to twelve hours a day in hopes that God would notice and grant me with what I wanted. Months passed by and my window was now completely covered in, well, Im not exactly sure what. I never found out. I began to doubt God had heard my many prayers, so I assumed I wasnt praying hard enough. Finally, I put my entire soul into a prayer that was heard. A prayer so fierce, that I passed out for a short moment. What happened next is still kind of hazy to me.

I remember hearing my door unlock so I opened it. I had never left my room before. To my immediate left there were a flight of stairs that descended into a large room. The walls were smothered with crucifixes and there was a lone brittle-wood chair that sat across from the largest crucifix. It was intwined with a live man pleading for his atonement. He was held there by two nails hammered through his palms and another that connected his feet to the base of the cross. I wanted to help him, but something mystical led me away. He screamed after me as I walked down another set of stairs to my left.

At the bottom, there was a door straight ahead and a door to my right. Unsure of which to choose, I attempted to reach for the gleaming golden handle of the right-side door, but my arm refused to move. I struggled to lift my arm to no avail. Defeated, I hesitantly stuck my hand out towards the door facing me. My arm no longer restrained, I wrapped my sweaty palm and fingers around the rusty knob and turned.

The blinding light of God welcomed me to a new world. Entering the surreal unknown, I wondered if the yellow creature would be coming soon. I walked over to the place it always released the children and waited maybe ten minutes before it came. The animal screeched to a deafening halt as curious and disgusted eyes filled its windows. These are not disciples of God, I thought, as several slanderous comments and unusual objects were thrown at me. I was appalled by these abhorrent sinners who I thought were my heavenly brothers and sisters.

Suddenly, a stout woman in blue arrived within a black and white beast that had a roar which sounded like an agonizing wail. On its hump there was a mesmerizing swirl of red and blue. She removed herself from the belly and approached me with caution, asking for my name. Three-thirty-three is what I told her. Her face contorted into an expression similar to the little-demons that had hurled an onslaught of sharp verbal stones.

She spoke into some device on her left shoulder nervously and then commanded that I lie on the ground with my hands behind my back. I did so and she bound my hands together with a cold sharp object. She then inquired why I was naked, I told her I resided in paradise with Adam and Eve along with hundreds of others. When she heard this, her face became more pale than Jesuss accustomed gown. She talked to her shoulder again, but stumbled on her words. I asked if she was okay because she seemed worried. There was no response other than a mixed expression of shame, pity, and fear on her face as she marveled at me in silence.

   Soon there were about twenty, maybe thirty more people who came wearing the same attire as her. They asked where paradise was so I pointed it out to them. I told them they could not barge in without first being accepted, otherwise they would be punished. I dont think they listened because paradise burst into flames within seconds of the blue people forcing their way in. Gods wrathful blast had destroyed not only the blue devils, but the demonic children as well. I survived though and so did the burly woman because God willed it. I kept trying to tell her that she and I are Gods true prophets, we are the real reincarnations of Adam and Eve.

At first, she hated me along with her colleagues. They abused me physically and mentally; they said I was an insane terrorist. I kept telling her Gods plan for us. They all laughed, including her. This went on for awhile and then she stopped one day. So did everyone else. Not too long after, I was set free from hell.

The woman I first met took me to her home. It was enormous, much bigger than paradise. She told me her father left it to her when he died; he was wealthy from something called oil. After getting more acquainted, she asked me how many rooms were in paradise. Full of pride, I told her three hundred and thirty-three. She smiled and then said that we had a lot of work to do. She announced that she was Eve and I was Adam, to which I nodded in joyful agreement. Eve said we would double the amount of rooms the old paradise had and she requested that I begin writing my account of what happened as I remember it, starting with where it all began: my window.